


Posthumously Acquired Ruminations

by howthemoonsuitsthenightsky



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, as is the not so good relationship between Annie and Jeff and their parents, the death of Pierce's dad is mentioned a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:49:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24352375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howthemoonsuitsthenightsky/pseuds/howthemoonsuitsthenightsky
Summary: When the study group meet up at a bar, Annie can tell something is up with Jeff, but it's not until later that she understands why.*a.k.a. The reason why Annie has a key to Jeff's apartment.
Relationships: Annie Edison/Jeff Winger
Comments: 19
Kudos: 178





	Posthumously Acquired Ruminations

Since the first proper ‘night out’ the group had had gone as well Garret’s chances at winning paintball, Annie hadn’t expected it to be a thing they ever did again, but sure enough, a few weeks later they’d been back in a bar drinking together. In a bar that wasn’t filled with photos of Shirley drunk and with Annie feeling less of a need to reinvent herself to use the discarded ID, the night had gone surprisingly well and had finished with all, apart from Shirley as resident pregnant member of the group and therefore designated driver, tipsy and eager to suggest another night out soon.

And so the pattern had continued. They would get together at a bar every few weeks, laugh and chat over drinks. Inevitably, the tradition took a pause over the summer between their second and third years, with Troy, Abed, Britta and Annie taking full-time employment over the summer in a way that meant they were never all free at the same time, but as they returned for their third year at Greendale, they were soon back at it. 

A week after Annie had moved in with Troy and Abed, the group found themselves at a bar once more. Annie had expected Pierce to bring the mood down slightly, as his ramblings about his late father only seemed to intensify when he had a drink in his hand, so when she showed up at the bar, late thanks to her new flatmates, to find only Shirley, Britta and Jeff around the table, she couldn’t complain. 

“Do you want to kill your new roommates yet?” Britta asked as the three late arrivals took their seats. 

Annie rolled her eyes as Troy and Abed looked on expectantly. “Not quite yet. I thought moving away from Dildopolis would mean I wouldn’t need my ear plugs anymore but it seems they’re a lifelong investment.”

“Hey,” Troy cut in, raising his hand to rest on Abed’s shoulder, “we can’t help it if our best ideas come at two in the morning. It’s more worrying that yours come at seven am.”

His criticism was met with distinct nods from the other members of the group and Annie fought the urge to roll her eyes. 

“You know he’s right, Annie.” Shirley was nodding at she spoke. “Anyone who gets up before eight in the morning has something wrong with them, even if they look adorable in a onesie and little bobble hat.”

“Ben’s routine getting to you a bit?” Britta asked, looking slightly smug at not having a situation like that to deal with.

Shirley clutched her handbag tighter. “Something like that.”

Abed quickly cut into the lull, offering to buy round of drinks. As Shirley could no longer be counted on not to drink, and after the ‘behaviour’ she had had to deal with the year before, the group had decided on a rota of driver’s and this time it was Annie who had the role. She was just thankful it would only be Troy, Abed and Jeff this week as Andre was picking Shirley up and Britta had a bar shift straight after their meet up. Unfortunately, it didn’t mean that Britta wouldn’t drink, and she quickly suggested a beer for herself, as that was “basically the same as not drinking”. 

As the group told Abed what they wanted, Annie noticed that Jeff hadn’t said a word since they got there and when it came to his turn to request a drink, he merely raised the glass of scotch he had as an indication before finishing it in one swig. A full thirty minutes later when he was yet to chime into the conversation, Annie leant over to whisper in Britta’s ear that she was going to the toilet, leaving the rest to discuss the video games that Shirley should get Elijah for his birthday.

Instead of walking straight into a stall as she used to, Britta leant against the sinks, knowing that Annie’s excuse for going to the toilet was wanting to talk. “Jeff?” Her question came before Annie could say a word.

Annie nodded. “What’s up with him? He hasn’t said a word since we got here.”

Britta raised her eyebrows. “He only said about five words before you did, and four of those were ‘I need a scotch’.” She raised her hand to count them off on her fingers as she said them, but there was no usual smile as she realised she hadn’t messed up the number. “He didn’t even complain when I started singing in the car over here.”

Annie crossed her arms, fighting the urge to pace across the tiled floor. “Do you know why?”

“Does anyone know why Jeff does things?” Annie couldn’t disagree with her there; if the group was represented by books, Jeff’s would be bound by a leather strap and padlocked for good measure. “But, if you’re asking me to therapeutically diagnose, I think that Pierce’s dad’s death got to him a bit.”

“Makes sense,” Annie admitted. She would be lying if she hadn’t thought about getting in touch with her parents after the news of Cornelius’s passing. Knowing that their death could come at any time and their relationship would come to a forced end on bad terms definitely wasn’t pleasant. 

As they made their way back to the table, Annie couldn’t help but look over at Jeff. He still hadn’t moved and by the sounds of the conversation she and Britta came back to, he wasn’t a part of it. Instead, his index finger traced the rim of his glass and his eyes seemed to be focused on anywhere other than the people in front of him. 

“Anyone fancy a game of pool?” She asked the question standing behind her chair. “Jeff?” She let her voice raise slightly and softened her gaze in the way that she knew made it hard for him to say no to her.

But when he looked at her, she could tell that tonight it would have no effect. “Beating you and having you as designated driver would just make me feel bad.” His comment had half of his usual wit and none of the normal effort behind it. 

Before Annie could reply, Abed cut in. “I will. There are some new trick shots I’ve been wanting to try out. You know, see if they’re actually as hard to master as the professionals say they are.”

With one last look back at Jeff as she was escorted to an empty pool table by Abed, she let her efforts be thwarted, but promised she wouldn’t let the night end with at least some part of his usual self coming back.

By the time Britta had to leave for her shift and Andre arrived to pick up Shirley, that effort hadn’t paid off. If anything, the harder Annie tried to include him, the more he shut himself off. Even her attempt to include him in a conversation at the bar when it was his round had ended up with Annie tempted to break out a brick wall metaphor. 

The remaining four decided to finish up their drinks before leaving the night be for themselves. As Jeff stood, Annie noticed him wobble slightly, but quickly recover as his hand reached back for the wall behind him. Troy and Abed were laughing at something Troy had found on his twitter feed and didn’t notice the moment, but Annie hoped they would have shared her concerns if they had.

It was rare for Jeff to physically show signs that he’d been drinking, in fact, Annie could only remember a handful of times, partially because to keep up with how much he drank on a ‘normal’ night, Annie had to be almost at the point of blacking out.

She let Troy and Abed lead the way out of the bar as she hung back to walk beside Jeff, who she was now sure would not pass a straight line test. “You okay?” She tried to keep her tone casual as she asked.

“Of course,” Jeff replied, his words slurring together into a continuous syllable. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“No reason,” Annie replied with a shrug that she hoped hid her actual concern. She motioned Jeff to get into the passenger seat before she walked round to the driver’s side. Adjusting her rear-view mirror so that she was looking directly at Troy, she raised her eyebrows at him. He looked confused for a second before she spoke. “Hey Troy, if I drop you and Abed off first, I think you can still catch that thing.” 

When Troy didn’t respond, she raised her eyebrows at him again for effect. “Oh yeah, that thing, yeah that’s a great idea.” Before Abed could question the situation, Troy raised a hand to cover his roommate’s mouth. Annie saw them whispering in the back seat as she adjusted the mirror back to its normal position, but thankfully due to Jeff struggling with his seatbelt, she classed themselves as having gotten away with it.

The drive to her new apartment was filled with the sounds of Troy and Abed’s chatter, but as they got out and Troy gave her a parting nod, the car suddenly became very quiet. Before they set off, Annie switched on the radio to a classical station. “Let’s get you home,” she said, forcing a smile. 

As they wound through the streets, the soft sounds of violins and pianos filled the car with something that, whilst didn’t match conversation, put Annie at ease. Two blocks away from Jeff’s apartment, she glanced over at him, ready to ask if she definitely had the right place, only to see tears glistening against his cheeks as they reflected under the passing streetlights and his head pressed against the window.

Knowing there was nothing she could do while driving them safely back to his apartment, she let herself make the final few turns before reaching his street and brought them to a stop a few doors away from the front of his building. As she cut off the engine, the music stopped and she could hear Jeff’s faint chocking breaths as he continued to cry.

Annie pushed her seat back so that it was in line with his and reached a hand out to his shoulder. Giving a slight pull to his shirt with a gentle “come here”, Jeff turned away from the window and wrapped his arms around her, his fingers gripping tight onto the back of her cardigan and his face burying itself in her shoulder. Annie reached her arms around him in return, letting her one hand run up and down his back while the other threaded itself in his hair. This close she could smell the scotch on him and silently tried to remember how many drinks he’d managed to have. 

As they sat there, Annie trying her best to sooth him without speaking, his sobs quietened. His grip on her cardigan loosened and she felt his hands travel lower, slowly coming to a rest on her hips. His head turned into her neck and Annie could feel his nose run along the exposed skin there before it was replaced by the soft skin of his lips, tracing their way up slightly before sinking deeper against her. Annie let out a small gasp, her body ordering her to pull him closer. 

She quickly pushed down the impulse and moved her hands round to Jeff’s shoulders, gently pushing him away. “Jeff, that’s …” She trailed off as she looked at him in the dim light cast by the streetlamps above them. She knew, looking in his eyes at that moment that she could do it, she could give into the desire between them, but she also knew that she really shouldn’t. “This isn’t the right time for that.” She forced the words out and with each one it became easier to believe they were what she wanted. “This isn’t the right time and I think we both know that it wouldn’t do you any good.”

Without warning the tears returned and though they were silent this time, seeing them still brought a stab of pain through Annie’s chest. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I don’t want to force you, or to come onto you if that’s, oh god.”

“Hey, hey, hey.” Annie swiftly brought her hands up to his cheeks and brushed the tears away with her thumbs. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Under normal circumstances I would be leaping at the chance.” She forced a small laugh at the reality of her comment. “But right now, I think we need to get you to bed and talk about what’s going on, if you want to do that, and if not then just the getting you to bed bit.”

Jeff nodded and released Annie’s hips from his grasp. In return, Annie let her thumb slide gently over his cheek one last time before letting go and getting out of the car. She was surprised to find Jeff hoisting himself out of the passenger side when she walked round to it. As he slammed the door, his body rocked slightly, but she was ready to offer herself as a support.

The doorman inside the lobby didn’t seem to note anything unusual about Jeff coming home in the arms of a woman who didn’t live in the building and Annie almost laughed at how she had ended up in a position that might make her seem like one of Jeff’s one-night stands. 

Outside his door, Annie had to reach into Jeff’s front pocket as he leant against his doorframe to find his keys. As her hand got deeper, she felt her fingers brush against something cylindrical and hard and couldn’t hide her sigh of relief when she could move it about within the pocket. 

“Breath mints,” Jeff supplied with the closest thing that resembled a smile he had come up with all evening. Annie smiled tightly before pulling out the keys triumphantly. Unlocking the door, she pushed it open and flicked the light switch nearby to reveal an apartment that looked much more like a bachelor pad than usual. Empty takeaway boxes and discarded clothes littered the sofa and coffee table whilst the washing up was piling up over most of the surfaces in the kitchen. The sight only quickened Annie’s heartrate as she realised the state that Jeff was in.

Instead of lingering on it, she forced herself to lead him straight to the bedroom where she removed his jacket. “Bathroom first, then bed,” she instructed. “I take it you don’t want me to help you go to the toilet and brush your teeth?” Annie took his silence as her answer. “Alright, I’ll be back in a few minutes with some water and painkillers.” For the killer hangover you’re going to have in the morning, she stopped herself from saying. 

After seeing him successfully walk into the en suite, Annie made her way back out into the kitchen. Trying to disregard the mess, she managed to find a clean glass, the fact that it was a Sesame Street one she guessed as the reason why it still hadn’t been used, filled it up with water and headed back into the bedroom with it and some paracetamol whilst Jeff was still brushing his teeth. 

After placing the glass and painkillers down on the messiest nightstand, she flicked on the light and cast a look around the room. It was a mess as well, but thankfully with only dirty clothes. Picking up a t-shirt from the bed, she raised it to within an inch of her face to smell it before promptly throwing it in Jeff’s laundry basket. Coming across a pair of underwear, she decided to stop smelling the garments and just throw everything in the laundry basket. After a few minutes, the floor and bed were clear, but the basket seemed to be overflowing. Annie removed it from the room, deciding that as she had to do her laundry in the morning anyway, she would take the clothes with her to save Jeff the burden of having to look at it.

As she walked back into the room, Jeff came out of the bathroom in his boxers. Annie quickly raised a hand to her eyes, at least making it seem like she wasn’t looking. He sat down on the bed and played with the sheets between his fingers for a few moments. “Um, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Annie replied a little too quickly, lowering her hand. “You should probably drink some water before you go to sleep.” She gestured towards the glass on the nightstand. As Jeff looked over at it, she could see his jaw start to shake. 

Annie quickly rushed over, sitting down beside him. Jeff let himself be pulled into another hug. “Shit, I’m sorry,” Jeff mumbled into Annie’s shoulder, becoming increasingly aware of the fact she had seen him cry more in the past two hours than anyone had in the last twenty years. “That glass, gah, it’s going to sound so stupid.” He took a deep breath in to steady himself before continuing. “It’s the last birthday present my dad got me before he left.”

He pulled back from his position on Annie’s shoulder. “Your dad?” She asked, keeping her voice low.

Jeff nodded. “I think that’s why I’ve been such a mess tonight, well, a mess for the past couple of weeks as you’ve probably seen.” He flung an arm into the air and didn’t seem to feel the hit as it came crashing back down against his bare leg. “Cornelius died with a shit relationship with his son but at least they saw each other, you know. My dad could be dead and I wouldn’t know shit. Or he could be out there living a great life with a new family and I- shit, I’m not sure which is worse.”

Annie was stunned into silence by his words. So many of them resonated with her, more than she would ever admit to him. A part of her wanted to jump in and say how she was feeling the exact same thing, how she was so scared that her parents lives had improved since she had left and how Peirce’s dad’s death had only amplified those feelings, but she knew that that would only drive Jeff deeper into his spiral. So, she settled on something kinder, in a way.

“Jeff, it was your dad’s decision to leave. It was his decision not to be a part of your life, and that sucks, it really fucking sucks,” she noted Jeff flinch at her curse but forced herself to continue, “but it also means that its his problem. You’ve made something of yourself, you’ve got friends who care about you and that you care about and that’s what’s important. There will be times when you think about your dad and times when he’s not on your mind at all but picturing where he is now won’t do you any good and ruminating on it won’t change the situation.” She paused to take a breath. Her eyes darted over his face, trying to gage his reaction, but she was left facing a blank slate. “You’re coping so well you know, so, so well.” She found herself raising a hand to cup his cheek once more. “The worst scenario is the one where you let him get to you, the one where you let him rule your life, and if I know Jeff Winger, I know that that won’t happen.”

Jeff nodded and turned his face into her palm so he could place a gentle kiss against it. “Thank you.” His voice came out as a whisper. “I think I should probably get some sleep and in the morning, I think, I’ll feel a bit better.”

Annie nodded and let her hand fall from his cheek. She stood, brushing down her jeans. “Well-”

“Could you lie down with me?” Jeff’s question cut into her goodbye. “Just for a little bit?” Looking at his face, Annie could see the vulnerability in it, the redness around his eyes from the tears he shed only minutes before adding to the effect.

“Of course.” 

Jeff got himself under the covers and Annie found herself laying on top of them facing him. For a few minutes, they simply stared at each other, neither willing to break the silence that had fallen between them. 

Slowly, Annie found herself reaching up for the hand Jeff had let fall on top of the covers and she gently entwined their fingers. She felt Jeff’s thumb stroke calmingly along the outer ridge of hers and the motion continued until his eyes fluttered shut and his breathing lengthened.

Annie raised herself off the bed, being careful to not wake him as she walked around it and turned off the lamp. She shut the bedroom door quietly and cast her gaze around the apartment. A quick glance at her watch showed her that it was only half eleven and before midnight, the dishwasher was loaded and on and two bags of rubbish had made their way down the trash chute in the corridor outside the apartment. 

With the laundry basket by the door, Annie realised that she had no way of locking Jeff’s door without taking his key with her. She detached it from the ring and found a scrap piece of paper on the coffee table. Her note promised she would return the key and laundry at a time that suited him, he just needed to text her to let her know when. 

The next afternoon when she returned the laundered clothes and key, she didn’t tell him she’d had a copy made, just in case there was another night like the one before. And as Jeff hugged her goodbye, he didn’t tell her how much her caring meant to him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a Community fic so fingers crossed y'all enjoy it because I want to write more 😊 After watching the table read and seeing the originally scripted line about Annie having a key to Jeff's apartment I thought it would be interesting to explore why she might have it so voila!


End file.
